How to Choose a Sex Toy Distributor

If you’re just starting out in adult retail, one of the first decisions you’ll make is which distributor(s) to work with. That decision can shape your margins, your shipping speed, your rep relationship, and frankly, your sanity.

As a former wholesale account manager at two adult novelty distributors and someone who’s guided a lot of new & veteran sex toy retailers, I’ve seen this process from both sides. This guide was written for pleasure product resellers/retailers navigate the process informed, not overwhelmed.

This blog is for you if you own one or more of the following business models: 

• E-commerce retailer selling sex toys - whether you drop ship or stock inventory
• Sex toy home party businesses
• Sexual health/adult novelty pop-up shop
• Adult novelty brick and mortar retailer

Onto the tips!

When it comes to choosing a distributor, apply with at least two. Many have different products to choose from. Some distributors have exclusive partnerships with select manufacturers, meaning you can only buy that manufacturer’s products with one distributor. An example of this is Geeky and Kinky Pins exclusivity with Entrenue/Nalpac (now a combined distributor). 

2. Some distributor sales reps might sleep on you…at first

Sometimes, new accounts get the “we’ll believe it when we see it” treatment from sales reps. This typically applies to e-commerce stores. Brick and mortar stores are diamonds in the rough for distributors. Why? Because they are guaranteed repeat/consistent revenue. A brick and mortar store has no take-backsies; whether they’re a well-oiled machine, or recently established, they’ve got a lot more skin in the game. 

Why some folks in this industry have this mentality towards many sex toy e-commerce store owners:  because many e-commerce startups over the years applied for accounts before having their business license, tax EIN, or even a website.

Here’s how to set yourself apart:

• Get your EIN and any required reseller permit first (EINs are free).
• Include a website domain and business email in your application.
• Be transparent about your store model (drop ship vs. bulk, e-commerce vs. brick and mortar).
• Set expectations for communication (email, call, how often you’d like check-ins).
  

Takeaway: First impressions matter. If someone ghosts you now, they’ll probably ghost you later too.

3. Know what to look for in a distributor 

It’s not just about who has the cheapest prices. A distributor can impact:

• Your profit margins (include dropship fees + estimated shipping costs. SIDE NOTE! You won’t know the final cost of shipping until the order is packed & shipped, so charge a flat-rate shipping around $7-8 on your website)
• Your customers’ satisfaction (based on how fast the distributor turns around drop ship raiders. You can expect 1 day for most distributors. 2 days is pushing it!) Ask your sales rep what their standard turnaround time is. 
• Your ability to grow (based on their product selection and sales rep attentiveness support)
  

Looking to set up a wholesale account with a sex toy drop shipper? Here are a few questions to ask: 

1. "What documentation do I need to provide to set up a wholesale account?"
2. "Do you have a wholesale order minimum?"  (Some do - you could incur an additional fee for orders under a certain dollar amount, in addition to their drop ship fee.)
3. "What is your drop ship fee?" (Expect anywhere from $2.50-$4 per order in 2025)
4. "Are inventory numbers available on your website for all products?"
5. "Is there a 'notify me when back in stock' feature for out of stock items? Or should I e-mail you for updates?"
6. "Do you offer free API or CSV feeds to help streamline my online product listings? If so, are they available for free?"
7. "If you offer data feeds, do I need a web developer to set them up?" (Some distributors might outsource their data feed API setup with a third-party web developer, which is an extra chunk of money.)

Bonus tip: Place a test drop ship order once your account is approved. I recommend including at least a bottle of lube and a glass item so you can see how they package orders. How fast was it shipped? Did they use bubble wrap and/or a plastic baggie for the bottled items? Did they throw everything in a bubble mailer? Did the shipping packaging arrive damaged or in tact? Different carriers have different handling practices. But if the items have been packaged haphazardly or in a bubble mailer, expect the items to arrive a little beat up. 

4. Your sales rep isn’t your business coach

Your account manager isn't there to build your business for you. But a good distributor sales rep will:

• Recommend aligned brands & products for you from time to time based on your niche or target audience. Sometimes they’ll reach out, sometimes they won’t. Check in with them. Jenn Hess (National Video Supply) and Molly Romeo (Holiday Products) are always on top of this! 
• Alert you to new brands, MAP updates, and monthly/seasonal promos & sales.
• Share manufacturers’ PDF one-sheets, and/or social media content upon request. Not all manufacturers provide this information, but you can always ask your sales rep.
• Personally reach out if they haven't heard from you in a while.
• Respond in a reasonable timeframe if you reach out with a reasonable ask. Especially for time-sensitive inquiries such as customer address verification; a package lost in transit, or a potentially stolen package (which distributors are not responsible for, btw). However, they can guide you on next steps like how to file a missing package claim with USPS or the shipping carrier.
  

Takeaway: It’s okay to ask for help, but don’t ask vague or general questions like “what products should I sell?”. Know your audience. Most of all, be mindful of your sales reps’ time. They’re juggling hundreds of accounts, and hundreds of new products at any given time. It is a high-intensity, demanding job. 

If you get matched with a rep you don’t vibe with, don’t shy away from requesting a new one. You deserve a rep who genuinely supports your goals.

4. ALWAYS (and I cannot state this enough) MIND THE MAP

MAP stands for Minimum Advertised Price. This is the lowest price a product can be advertised for online, as set by the manufacturer. Product manufacturers use MAP policies to protect their product’s value and create a level playing field for all online resellers. Violating MAP can get your wholesale account suspended or revoked altogether. Whether you’re listing products on your own site or through marketplaces, stick to the brand’s MAP guidelines. It’s how you stay in good standing and keep your business respected in the industry. Want a deeper breakdown of MAP policy, what it means for your business, and how to avoid common mistakes? [Read the full MAP blog here.]

Before You Go…

Every new business starts somewhere. Just because you’re small doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken seriously. Apply for multiple accounts. You’re not bound to any one distributor, so keep your standards high, take notes on how you’re treated, and always be respectful. 

Want a Shortcut?

I’ve compiled a free downloadable directory of U.S. adult novelty distributors that offer drop shipping, many of which I’ve worked with directly. You’ll get names, websites, key details, and tips for how to reach out the right way.

[Click here to get the free distributor list]

(Email signup required—your inbox won’t be spammed, promise.)